Once there was a beautiful woman who loved to work in her vegetable
 garden,but no matter what she did, she couldn't get her tomatoes to ripen.
 Admiring her neighbor's garden, which had beautiful bright red tomatoes,
 she went one day and inquired of him his secret. "It's really quite simple,"
the old man explained.  "Twice each day, in the morning and in the evening, I
expose myself in  front of the tomatoes and they turn red with
embarrassment."  Desperate for the perfect garden, she tried his advice and
proceeded to expose herself to her plants twice daily.  Two weeks passed and
her neighbor stopped by to check her progress.  "So", he asked, "Any luck
with your tomatoes?"  "No", she replied excitedly... "But you should see the
size of my cucumbers!"