FileTitle: Joke367.html
Category: Humor
Type: Joke
Description: Kowalski's Dead!
Subject: Kowalski's dead! 

  This guy is driving through Minnesota on business and comes to this
small town where every single store is closed and locked up.  Each has a
sign in the window, "Closed for Kowalski's funeral."  Even the post office
is closed.  Curious, he drives around until he finds the town funeral home,
which is surrounded by an immense crowd, obviously many more people than
the population of the town itself.  As the funeral breaks up and people
start heading for their cars, he catches someone and asks what was so
special about this Kowalski that would attract so many people to his
funeral.  The guy says, "Mister, Kowalski had the biggest dick in the
Upper Plains States, including Nebraska and the Dakotas."
  Even more curious, he pushes his way past the crowd exiting the
mortuary, finds the undertaker, and says, "Look, I'm from out of town, and
I've just learned that there was - er - something very special about the
late Mr. Kowalski.  I'm really interested in this kind of thing, and I
wonder if you could be so good as to let me have a look before you screw
down the coffin lid."
  The undertaker, offended, says, "Sir!  That would be an outrage to the
dignity of the occasion!"
  To which the salesman says, "I'll give you five bucks."
  The undertaker says, "Done," and he pulls down the corpse's trousers.
  Indeed it was a genuine whopper, the sockdolager of peckers, a prick for
the ages.  The salesman says, "My wife would dearly love to see this
outstanding example of achievement in the penile arts.  I'm prepared to
offer you, say, $100 for it.  Kowalski doesn't need it any more, no one
will know, and it would be a shame to bury such a beauty."
  The mortician starts looking offended again, so the salesman says, "Make
that $200," and the undertaker, without saying a word, cuts off Kowalski's
pecker and folds it into a shoebox.
  The guy can't wait to get home to show this prize to his wife.  He
drives to the Minneapolis airport, catches a plane to O'Hare, gets his car
out of the long-term lot, rushes home, and calls to his wife as he runs
through the door that he's brought her something very special.  Excited,
she opens the shoebox and looks up with horror: "My God! Kowalski's dead!"