FileTitle: List1236.html
Category: Humor
Type: List
Description: Useful Research Phrases
Subject: Useful research phrases

The following are a few extracts from "A Dictionary of Useful Research
Phrases."  I have no idea where these originated; indeed, I am not even
sure the Dictionary exists.  There are many such lists passed around among
graduate students and you may have read it before but here it is again.

"It has long been known" . . . [I didn't look up the original reference.]
"A definite trend is evident" . . . [These data are practically
meaningless.]
"Of great theoretical and practical importance" . . . [Interesting to me.]
"While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to these
questions" . . . [An unsuccessful experiment but I still have to get it
published.]
"Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study" . . . [The results of
the others didn't make any sense.]
"Typical results are shown" . . . [The best results are shown.]
"These results will be shown in a subsequent report" . . . [I might get
around to this sometime if I'm pushed.]
"The most reliable results are those obtained by Jones" . . . [He was my
graduate assistant.]
"It is believed that" . . . [I think]
"It is generally believed that" . . . [A couple of other guys think so,
too.]

"It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete
understanding occurs" . . . [I don't understand it.]

"Correct within an order of magnitude" . . . [Wrong]
"It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigations in this
field" . . . [This is a lousy paper, but so are all the others on this
miserable topic.]

"Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to
George
Frink for valuable assistance" . . . [Blotz did the work and Frink
explained
to me what it meant.]

"A careful analysis of obtainable data" . . . [Three pages of notes were
obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer.]