FileTitle: List1250.html
Category: Humor
Type: List
Description: Words of Wisdom (Quips list)
- All generalisations are false.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- I love cats. They taste just like chicken.
- The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
- Conserve toilet paper. Use both sides.
- I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
- Save a tree. Eat a Beaver.
- Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
- Sex is a misdemeanour. The more I miss it, the meaner I get.
- I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
- Nobody's ugly after 2am.
- Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
- Real women don't have hot flushes. They have *power surges*.
- Where there's a will, I want to be in it!
- If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
- I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it!
- Learn from your parents' mistakes. Use birth control!
- It's lonely at the top. But at least you eat better.
- A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
- Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
- We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
- He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
- Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else!
- Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.