> > The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles (Yes, kids, these are
REAL.)
> >
> >  1) Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
> >  2) Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
> >  3) Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
> >  4) Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
> >  5) How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
> >  6) How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A
> >     Liar All My Life?
> >  7) I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
> >  8) I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
> >  9) I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
> > 10) I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
> > 11) I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
> > 12) I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
> > 13) I Wanna Whip Your Cow
> > 14) I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
> > 15) I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
> > 16) I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
> > 17) I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
> > 18) I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
> > 19) I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
> > 20) I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare
Line
> > 21) If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
> > 22) If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
> > 23) If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
> > 24) If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will
> > 25) If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
> > 26) Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
> > 27) My Every Day Silver Is Plastic
> > 28) My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
> > 29) My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was
> >     Breaking My Heart
> > 30) My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
> > 31) Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down,
> >     But Baby I Can See Through You
> > 32) Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill
> > 33) She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft
> > 34) She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
> > 35) She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
> > 36) She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty
> > 37) Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone
> > 38) They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin'
Out
> > 39) Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
> > 40) When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In
> > 41) You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too
> > 42) You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd
> > 43) You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
> > 44) You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life
> > 45) You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly