FileTitle: List1578.html
Category: Humor
Type: List
Description: Answering Machines Messages
Subject: Answering Machine Messages Part 1/7

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 Science Fiction

You have reached 555-6238. Why?

This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what
you-know-when.

You have reached 234-1243. This is an answering machine. This is the
nineties. You know what to do.

You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after
the beep.

This is a boring answering machine message. Leave a message anyway. (Useful
to keep people from calling at odd hours to hear your latest exciting message.)

  Miscellaneous

( For Shakespeare lovers only :) So long as phones can ring and eyes can
see, So leave a message, and I'll get back to thee.

This is 234-3249, and no, it's not Pete's Pizzaria. It's not the Credit
Union either, and no one named Pam lives here. You can leave a messege though.


Bullwinkle: Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me pull their message out of this machine! Rocky: Again? Bullwinkle: Nuthin' up my sleeve... PRESTO! (Sound of vicious dog barking, stops abruptly.) Bullwinkle: Must have been a wrong number. Rocky: Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message.
Rocky: Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message.
(A friend was at a mutual friend's sister's house, and when she went out for beer, he changed her answering machine message. In a loud, deep, gravelly, horror-film voice he recorded:) Hi, this is Kathy. I'm not myself right now. If you leave your name and number, I'll get back to you when I'm feeling better.