FileTitle: List1794.html
Category: Humor
Type: List
Description: Hickphonics
> The Atlanta School Board is designating Southern slang, or
> "Hickphonics," as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. Here
> are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English dictionary:
>
>
> HEIDI - noun. Greeting.
>
>
> HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
> Usage: "Heidi. Hire yew."
>
>
> BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
> Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
>
>
> JAWJUH - noun. A state just north of Florida. Capital is Hot-lanta.
> Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
>
>
> MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
> Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and
> I ain't herd from him in munts."
>
>
> FAR - noun. A conflagration.
> Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in
> my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."
>
>
> BAHS - noun. A supervisor.
> Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words
> and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"
>
>
> TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
> Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do
> hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
>
>
> RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
> Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
>
>
> TARRED - adverb. Exhausted.
> Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are
> tarred."
>
>
> ARE - pronoun. Possessive case of we used as a predicate adjective.
>
>
> RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
> Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
>
>
> FARN - adjective. Not local.
> Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be
> from some farn country."
>
>
> DID - adjective. Not alive.
> Usage: "He's did, Jim."
>
>
> EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
> Usage: "He cain't breathe ... give 'im some ear!"
>
>
> BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
> Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
>
>
> JEW HERE - Noun and verb contraction.
> Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with
> that bob war fence cump'ny?"
>
>
> HAZE - a contraction.
> Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."
>
>
> SEED - verb, past tense.
>
>
> GUMMIT - Noun. A bureaucratic institution.
> Usage: "Them gummit boys shore are ignert."