THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE
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AGE        DRINK
17         beer
25         vodka
35         scotch
48         double scotch
66         Maalox

SEDUCTION LINE
17         My parents are away for the weekend.
25         My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
35         My fiancee is away for the weekend.
48         My wife is away for the weekend.
66         My second wife is dead.

FAVORITE SPORT

17         sex
25         sex
35         sex
48         sex
66         napping

DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE

17         "tongue"
25         "breakfast"
35         "She didn't set back my therapy."
48         "I didn't have to meet her kids."
66         "Got home alive."

FAVORITE FANTASY
17         getting to third
25         airplane sex
35         menage a trois
48         taking the company public
66         Swiss maid/Nazi love slave

HOUSE PET
17         roaches
25         stoned-out college roommate
35         Irish setter
48         children from his first marriage
66         Barbi

WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17         25
25         35
35         48
48         66
66         17