32 BIT RESOLUTION : moshun to spend four dollars
ADOBE PHOTOSHOP : red bilding ware you git yur pictur took
ALIAS : name ya use at a motel
ADDRESS : clothes worn by women and J. Edgar Hoover
ALTERNATE DRIVE : a detour
APPLE : needed for pan dowdy and fritters
APPLETS : little apples or fritters
APPLICATION : put salve on yur skin
ASCII: wen ya raise yur hand to go to the restrom
ASYNCHRONOUS TRANSMISSION : wen yur truck needs fizin
ATTACHMENT : feeling close to yur dog or wife
BACKUP : (1) takin the truk outa the driveway
(2) sleepin face down
(3) whatcha do  when you run across a skunk in the woods
BACKUP DISC : spare frisbie
BANDWIDTH: mens are larger on a watch
BAR CODE: fightn rules at the local tavern
BAUD RATE : hourly charge at the motel
BINARY : someone who likes both men an women
BIT : (1) a wager as in I bit ya can't spit that chawin tibacco across the
road
(2) two bits is twenty-five cents
BROWSER : fella reedin PLAYBOY in the drug store
BUG : (1) thing on phone to check yur wife's calls
(2) reason to call in sick wen theres a ballgame
BYTE : wut them dang flys and muskitos do.
C++ : superior grade in skool
CABLE : TV with ESPN and HBO
CACHE  needed when yur credit card maxs out and ya hav no food stamps
CD ROM : place in the bank ware they sell thos big notes
CLONES : (1) jobless fans of the jungle.
(2) guys in circus in funny suits
CHIP : (1) animal droppins
(2) munchies fer the TV
CLIPBOARD : place you keep yur ammo
COBAL :  baseball game with men and gals at cumpany piknics
CODE : wen yu gotta snooty nose and coff
CODING : illegal drug that makes you high
COOKIE : snacks to keep the kids happy
CRASH : (1)  wen yur truk hits a tree.
(2) wen you go to Juniors party uninvited
(3) wacha do wen yer too tired to do nuttin else
CURSOR : wucha do wen yur mad at yur wife
CYBERSPACE : war ya keep yur cider and six-packs
DEBUGGER :  a roach motel
DESKTOP : place to keep yer homework
DESKTOP PRINTING : wen ya carve yur initials on yur skull desk
DIGITAL : (1) a questshun as digital furgit ta bring the beer
(2) numbers on a alarm clock
(3) art of countin on yur fingers
DIGITAL CONTROL : wut yur fingers do on the TV remote
DIGITAL SIGNATURE : fingerprints
DISC OPERATING SYSTEM : Wat the doc uses to fix yur floppy disc
DISKETTE : female disco dancer
DOMAIN : most importint as he's domain boss
DOS : (1) opposite of donts
(2) opposite of deeze
DOT MATRIX : Tom Matrix's wife
DOWNLOAD : (1) gettin the farwood off the truk
(2) to flush the john
DOWNTIME : period of depression
DTP : baby shots to pervent sickness
DRIVE COMPATABILITY : a long car ride with your wife without fightin
E-MAIL : not a sissy or weeklin
EDIT : wucha do with food
ENCRYPTION : what the undertaker duz to ya
ENDORA : Samanthas mother
ENTER : notherner talk fer cumin, ya all
ETHERNET : wut the doc puts on your face in surgery to make ya sleep
EXPANSION SLOT : extra hole in yur belt ya use wen ya overeat
FAQ : used with U, wut you yell when someone cuts ya off
FAX : wucha lie about to the IRS
FILE : wut yur wile uses on her nails
FINGER :  wat ya gives a driver wat cuts ya off
FIREWALL : ware ya practises yur target shutin
FLOPPY : (1) Roscoe after sex
(2) pancakes
FLOPPY DISK : (1) soggy pizza
(2) wucha git from liftin too much farwood
FONT : discover as in I font it at a garage sale
FORMAT : small rug to wipe your feet on on a muddy day
FORTAN : (1)  tells yur future, usually inside cookies at Chinese
resterants
(2) lots of money
FRAME : wen the cops bring ther own pot to yer party
FREEZE : releases from captivity as Superman freeze the hostiges
GOPHER : small animal that digs holes in yer lon
HACKER : granpa after 62 years of smokin
HANDSHAKING : granma with parkinsons
HARDCODE : wen the snoot in yer nose gets real dry
HARD COPY: pictur to look at when selecting tattoos
HARD DRIVE : gettin home in the muddy season with a flat tire
HARDWARE : (1) leather and spats
(2) yer rifle and guns
HEADER : a game as in the braves are playin a dubble header
HOMEPAGE : place in the newspaper with houses for sale
IBM : anser wen teechur calls yur name
ICON : braggin as in icon lift yur truk with one arm
INDEX : what poker cards cum in
INFRARED : ware the leftovers go when Freds here
INSTALL : ware ya keep your horse
INTERACTIVE : run into the house
INTERNET : (1) wut the bait duz wen ya  catch it
(2) ware cafeteria workers put thar hair
INTERNET EXPLORER : a currous fish
ITALIC : furriner from Roam
JAVA : strong coffee
JAVA APPLETS :  fritters for dunkin
JAZZ DRIVE ; fancy new sports car
JOYSTICK : wat you open yur pants fur
KEYBOARD : ware ya hang yur truk keys
LAN : (1) to borrow as,  Bert, lan me yur truk
(2) the grass in fronta yur house
LAPTOP : ware the little kids jump on to sit
LASER PRINTER : fella too tired ta rite his ma
LINK : breakfast sausage
LOG ON : making a wood stove hotter
LOG OFF : takin the wood off the pile fur usin
MAC : yur kids favorite food
MAIN FRAME : wut holds up the barn roof
MANUAL : truk without automatic geers
MEGABYTE : wucha git from Meg durin luvmakin
MEGAHERTZ : (1) watcha git when yer not keerful gettin the farwood
(2) yer head after 3 six-paks
MEMORY : watcha dont furgit
MEMORY CARD : used to cheat on tests
MENU : restarent list
MICROCHIP : wuts left in the munchie bag when the chips are gone
MICROFICHE : tiny fish used fur bait
MICROPROCESSOR : fine meat chopper fur making sausage
MICROSOFT : defrostin a TV dinner in the microwave
MICROSOFT WINDOWS : small plastic things on return envelopes
MICROSOFT WORD : whisper
MIME : belongs to me
MODEM : whacha do to the grass twisa yeer
MONITOR : teachur's helper at lunch
MOTHERBOARD : source of toothpicks
MOTOR HOUSING : a winnebago
MOUSE :  fuzzy white thing wut eats the horses grain in the barn and ya
can stuff in your beer bottle to get a free case
MOUSE PAD: where Mickey and Minnie live
MULTICASTING : two actors taking turns playing a part in a play
MULTISYNC : two washing areas in the same bathroom
NETSCAPE NAVIGATOR ; leeder of fish eludin comershall fishermen
NETWORK : (1) ESPN, FOX, NBC
(2) scoopin up a big fish befor it brakes the line
NEWSGROUP : wives gossippin
NOVELL : (1) a fictional book
(2) a new way of doin sumthing
ONLINE: ware to stay when takin a sobriety test
ORICLE : (1) earlobe
(2) a singin bird
OVERWRITE : what makes yur checks bounce
PACKET : wucha do to a suitcase before a trip
PASSWORD :  fore, used wen playin golf
PING : noise the truk makes wen ya use cheep gas
PIXEL : small child or fairy
PLOTTER PEN : jail for conspirators and terrorists
PLUG-IN : push the end ot the TV cord into the wall
POP : (1) Dad
(2) coke or pepsi
POP SERVER : Mom
PORT : fancy wine
PRINTER :  fella who can't rite in handritin
PRINTOUT ; wen ya uz a eraser or whiteout to currect a misteak
PROGRAM : wuts on the TV when there's receptshun
PROGRAMMER : fella with the TV remote
PROMPT : wucha wish the mail was in mud season
PROXY SERVER : sappini deliverer wen ya cant do it yurself
QUEUE : (1) idea as in she hasnt got a queue
 (2) stick used to hit poolball
RAID :  (1) roach motel
 (2)  wen the cops crash yur party
RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: wen ya cant member wen yer wife asks ware ya were and
who you wer with
REAL TIME :  on TV live, not delayed
REBOOT : wucha do wen ya step in horse manuer
RELOAD : fill the frig with 6-pacs and chips
 (2) wacha do after usin yer guns
RAM :  (1) lambs daddy
 (2) whacha do to a car goin too slow on the hiway
RAM CHIP : male sheep droppins


ROM :  (1) the jungle pimp-in-the-box
 (2) the Popes home
 (3) good to drink with Coca Cola.
SCANNER : watchin a female disco dancer
SCREEN : thing to keep the flies out
SCSI:  what you call your week old underware
SECURITY :  (1) bank guard
 (2) why yer gal wants to get hitched
 (3) wat the bank keeps until ya pays back the lone
SERIAL PORT : breakfast wine
SERVER : gal in resterant that brings yur food
SHAREWARE : wen ya use yur rummates clothes
SHELL ACCOUNT : gas station credit card
SOFTWARE : (1) them plastic eatin utensils ya git at MacDonalds
 (2) yer gals cashmire sweater
SPAM : meat for special occashuns
SPREADSHEET : wat ya put on the table for thanksgivin dinner
STATIONARY : not movin as most wives in bed
SUPERCONDUCTORS : (1) Glenn Miller, Doc Severnsen, Lawrence Welk
 (2) ticket takers on the express train
SUPPORT : (1) drink fancy wine slowly
 (2) wat bras do
 (3) wat ya hav to giv yur ex fur the kids
TERMINAL : time to call the undertaker
TEXT : dude from Dallas
TOKEN RING : wat ya usta git on the merry-go-round to git a free ride
UPDATE : wen ya rite a check so it cant be used until next month
UPGRADE : (1) when teechur changes an F to a D
          (2) skule term fur permoshun as upgrade to 2nd after jus 2 yers
in 1st
UNZIP : open yur pants
USENET : wat ya do wen ya bring in a big fish
URL : wat ya dont want the doc to say at yer yeerly exam
VECTOR : winner of the fite or race
VERSION : wucha dislike as in he has a version to broccoli
VIRUS : same as a code but wurse
WEBMASTER : female spider
WEBSITE : ware spiders catch flies
WINDOW : place in a truk to hang your guns
WINDOWS : wucha shut when its 30 below
WORM : (1) wacha put on a fish hook
 (2) watcha use a blanket to get
ZIP DRIVE : goin fast at NASCAR