On a ski lift in Taos, NM:
'No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted.'
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Official sign near door:  Door Alarmed.
Handprinted sign nearby:  Window frightened.
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Guys:  No shirt, No service
Girls: No shirt, No charge
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Road sign seen on the island of Cyprus
    (translation of the Greek):
'Caution: Road Slippery from Grapejuice'
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A sign advertising a Company wide skiing race:
  'Let's see who can go downhill the fastest'
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Sign in King's Canyon in California:
'Slow Parking Ahead'
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MORE OF AN AD THAN A SIGN:
An Ad for BMW showing a photo of a BMW 328i convertible with the
roof and all the windows down. The caption reads:
'Our hardware runs better without WINDOWS!!!'
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Two signs found on top of one another in a country
kitchen several years ago:
   Restrooms
    <-----
   Please wait for hostess to seat you.
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Sign in front of church in Montpelier, VT:
'Bingo Friday night at 8:00pm
Quickies Thursday at  7:30pm.'
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Seen in a health food store_
" Shoplifters will be beaten over the head with an organic carrot "
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"Children left unattended will be towed at parents expense."
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In a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant, a sign read:
"Women are not served here -
 You have to bring your own."