The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved
in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hypothalamus
controls
the Four Fs: 1. fighting;  2. fleeing; 3. feeding; and  4. mating.
                             -- Psychology professor in
                                neuropsychology intro course

What is a committee?  A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to
do the unnecessary.
                              -- Richard Harkness, The New York Times

Slogan of 105.9, the classic rock radio station in Chicago: "Of all the
radio stations in Chicago ... we're one of them."

Madness takes its toll.  Please have exact change.

Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in
the correct screw.

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with
that?"

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and
years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the
worst movies in the history of the world.
                              -- Dave Barry

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I
hate plants.
                              -- A. Whitney Brown

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely
rearranging their prejudices.
                              -- William James

Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling
down the highway.
                              -- Andrew Tannenbaum

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is
in it - and stop there;  lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot
stove-lid.  She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again, and that is
well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
                              -- Mark Twain

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving,an infant's
life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if
there are men on base.
                             -- Dave Barry

When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.

Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom:  No matter how great your triumphs or
how tragic your defeats, approximately one billion Chinese couldn't
careless.

668: The Neighbor of the Beast

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
                              -- Emo Phillips

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake
when you make it again.
                              -- F. P. Jones

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the
experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent
disinclination to do so.
                              -- Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See

As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not
important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying
me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so.
                              -- Hunter S. Thompson's Attorney

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a
woman in the audience stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the God of the
Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?"
                              -- Quentin Crisp

Boundary, n.  In political geography, an imaginary line between two
nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights
of
another.
                              -- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

I think that all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired
of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with
being sick and tired.  I'm certainly not! But I'm sick and tired of being
told that I am!
                              --  from Monty Python

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
                              -- George Carlin

Life may have no meaning.  Or even worse, it may have a meaning of
which I disapprove.
                              -- Ashleigh Brilliant

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
                              -- Ashleigh Brilliant

The most important thing in the programming language is the name.
A language will not succeed without a good name. I have recently
invented a very good name and now I am looking for a suitable language.
                              -- D. E. Knuth, 1967

A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you
least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your
unit.
                              -- In the August 1993 issue, page 9, of PS   
            magazine, the Army's magazine of preventive maintenance