FileTitle: List354.html
Category: Humor
Type: List
Description: An Old Timer Remembers
Subject: FUNNY DEFINITIONS ABOUT PEOPLE

   An Old Timer is a person who remembers when:

        -a baby was an addition and not a deduction.
        -a bureau was a piece of furniture.
        -a caller rang the doorbell instead of blowing the horn.
        -a car salesman said 500...he meant the price and not the
            horsepower.
        -a coffee break was your lunch hour.
        -a couple used to go driving in the park instead of parking in
            the drive.
        -a day's work took a day and not a week.
        -a dishwasher had to be married and not bought.
        -a dollar was worth fifty cents.
        -a hero meant a person, not a sandwich.
        -a man did his own withholding on his take-home pay.
        -a summer vacation was one day at the county fair.
        -a wife put food in cans instead of taking it out.
        -a wife's meals were carefully thought out rather than thawed
            out.
        -a woman married a man for his money instead of divorcing him
            for it.
        -air pollution was corned beef and cabbage.
        -an allergy was just an itch and all you did was scratch it.
        -baby sitters were called mothers.
        -campers were people and not trucks.
        -coffee was a grind and paying for it was not.
        -dancing was done with the feet.
        -doctors used to smoke and kids didn't.
        -eight-forty was the time the play started and not the price of
            the ticket.
        -five-and-ten stood for cents, and not for dollars.
        -girls stayed home because they had nothing to wear.
        -he made the last payment on his house.
        -he mailed a penny postcard for two cents.
        -health foods were whatever your mother said you'd better eat or
            else.
        -it took a whole week to spend a week's pay.
        -people aimed to get to Heaven instead of the moon.
        -people stopped spending when they ran out of money.
        -people worried about the national debt.
        -rockets were part of a fireworks celebration.
        -scientists taught that everything that goes up must come down.
        -setting the world on fire was merely a figure of speech.
        -sex education was learning to kiss without bumping noses.
        -the only garbage problem was getting your husband to put it
            out.
        -the younger generation used to go to bed before the adults.
        -things in dime stores were a dime.
        -we had trees on the streets instead of parking meters.
        -we sat down at the table and counted our blessings instead of
            calories.
        -we used to kill time by working.
        -you were only broke the day before payday.
        -women wore nightcaps instead of drinking them.