FileTitle: List354.html
Category: Humor
Type: List
Description: An Old Timer Remembers
Subject: FUNNY DEFINITIONS ABOUT PEOPLE
An Old Timer is a person who remembers when:
-a baby was an addition and not a deduction.
-a bureau was a piece of furniture.
-a caller rang the doorbell instead of blowing the horn.
-a car salesman said 500...he meant the price and not the
horsepower.
-a coffee break was your lunch hour.
-a couple used to go driving in the park instead of parking in
the drive.
-a day's work took a day and not a week.
-a dishwasher had to be married and not bought.
-a dollar was worth fifty cents.
-a hero meant a person, not a sandwich.
-a man did his own withholding on his take-home pay.
-a summer vacation was one day at the county fair.
-a wife put food in cans instead of taking it out.
-a wife's meals were carefully thought out rather than thawed
out.
-a woman married a man for his money instead of divorcing him
for it.
-air pollution was corned beef and cabbage.
-an allergy was just an itch and all you did was scratch it.
-baby sitters were called mothers.
-campers were people and not trucks.
-coffee was a grind and paying for it was not.
-dancing was done with the feet.
-doctors used to smoke and kids didn't.
-eight-forty was the time the play started and not the price of
the ticket.
-five-and-ten stood for cents, and not for dollars.
-girls stayed home because they had nothing to wear.
-he made the last payment on his house.
-he mailed a penny postcard for two cents.
-health foods were whatever your mother said you'd better eat or
else.
-it took a whole week to spend a week's pay.
-people aimed to get to Heaven instead of the moon.
-people stopped spending when they ran out of money.
-people worried about the national debt.
-rockets were part of a fireworks celebration.
-scientists taught that everything that goes up must come down.
-setting the world on fire was merely a figure of speech.
-sex education was learning to kiss without bumping noses.
-the only garbage problem was getting your husband to put it
out.
-the younger generation used to go to bed before the adults.
-things in dime stores were a dime.
-we had trees on the streets instead of parking meters.
-we sat down at the table and counted our blessings instead of
calories.
-we used to kill time by working.
-you were only broke the day before payday.
-women wore nightcaps instead of drinking them.