THINGS WILL ROGERS NEVER SAID - III
                  (but probably wished he had)

--Some patent medicine ads are so attractive that they make a
person who has his health feel like he's missing something.

--I had bad eyesight until I was eight.  Then I got a haircut.

--Before TV nobody knew what a headache looked like.

--Sign in hearing aid department:  Over 5,000 ears of experience.

--Doctors say that hay fever can be positive or negative.
Sometimes the eyes have it, sometimes the nose.

--A dog is smarter than some people.  It wags its tail and not
  its tongue.

--Oversleeping is a mighty poor way to make your dreams come
  true.

--You can always tell and intelligent person.  Their view is the
  same as yours.

--Millions of Americans aren't working, but thank heaven they've
  got jobs.

--The only thing that can keep on growing without nourishment is
  an ego.