Description: Military Briefing Item
9. You're attending a briefing given by a Colonel. You feel a
tremendous pressure building in your anal area which you diagnose as
gas accumulation. Feeling confident you have the muscle tone required
for a controlled venting operation, you allow the sphincter to slightly
relax. As the hair curls on the nape of your neck, you realize your
error in judgment as fifty cubic centimeters of diarrhea slam into your
jockey shorts. Your next action is:
a. Moan loudly, grasp your chest, and fake a massive coronary.
b. Ask mindless questions concerning the subject being briefed,
wait for someone to yell, "who gives a shit!" then raise your hand.