FileTitle: Prose1642.html
Category: Humor
Type: Prose
Description: Fruitcake (var)
For a little Holiday cheer, try this World Famous Fruitcake Recipe.

*Ingredients:*

one cup water
one cup sugar
four large eggs
two cups of dried fruit
one teaspoon baking soda
one teaspoon salt
one cup brown sugar
lemon juice
nuts
one bottle whiskey

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.  Take a large bowl.  Check
the whiskey again.  To be sure the whiskey is the highest quality,
pour one level cup and drink straight down.  Repeat.  Turn on the
electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.  Add one
teaspoon of sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey has not gone bad.  Cry another tup.  Turn off
the mixer.  Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of
dried fruit.  Mix on the turner.  If the fried druit gets stuck in the
beaterers, pry it loose with a screwdriver.

Sample the whiskey for toxisicity.  Next, sift two cups of salt.  Or
something.  Who cares?  Check the whiskey.  Now sift the lemon juice
and strain your nuts.  Add one table.  Spoon.  Of sugar or something.
Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven.  Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.  Don't forget to
beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window, check the
whiskey one last time and go to bed.