Someday I guess I'm just gonna get arrested, but I can't resist
  off the wall humor when people least expect it.  I went into this
  department story and was greeted by a female salesgirl who said,
  "Good afternoon sir, and what is it you desire ?"
    I replied, "What I desire is to whisk ya outta here, take you to
  my secret hide-away, mix up a big pitcher of drinks, put on some
  soft music, and then make mad passionate love to ya all afternoon.
  However, what I need is some underwear and socks."