FileTitle: Prose1969.html
Category: Humor
Type: Prose
Description: Job Title Astrology - Okay in parts, right in parts?
Astrology tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday. The
Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth. Demographics tell us what you
like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy and what you watch on
television.

Well, the Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply by your job title,
people will have you all figured out...

MARKETING:

You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having
to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing -
which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least
compatible with Sales.

SALES:

Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree," you
are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you
to take their money, you like to avoid contact with "customers" so you can
"concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for
your golf game throughout your life.

TECHNOLOGY:

Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to
completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU
don't understand what you are saying, but who the hell can tell?! It is
written that the Geeks shall inherit the Earth.

ENGINEERING:

One of only two signs that actually studied in school, it is said that
ninety percent of all Personal Ads are placed by engineers. You can be happy
with yourself: your office is typically full of all the latest "ergodynamic"
gadgets. However, we all know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel"...

ACCOUNTING:

The only other sign that studied in school, you are mostly immune from
office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization;
combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors
concerning you say that you are completely insane.

HUMAN RESOURCES:

Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be
the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person
that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today
because you have to get a haircut, have lunch, AND mail a
letter!

MIDDLE MANAGEMENT N DEPARTMENT MANAGEMENT N "TEAM LEADS":

Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at
your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision
you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule
for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers,"
as everyone in your social circle is a "Middle Manager."

SENIOR MANAGEMENT:

Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at
your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision
you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule
for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Senior Managers,"
as everyone in your social circle is a "Senior Manager."

CUSTOMER SERVICE:

Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own
life. As a child very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for
your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service."
Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your
manager.

CONSULTANT:

666.