FileTitle: Prose2131.html
Category: Humor
Type: Prose
Description: Bill Gates House

      While the Gates are moving in from their temporary quarters nearby,
final construction of their new house is not expected to be completed
until the end of the year.

Bill:  "There are a few issues we need to discuss."

Contractor:  "You have our basic support option.  Calls are free for the
first 90 days and $75 a call thereafter.  Okay?"

Bill:  "Uh, yeah... the first issue is the living room.  Its a little
smaller than we anticipated."

Contractor:  "Yeah.  Some compromises were made to have it out by the
release date."

Bill:  "We won't be able to fit all our furniture in there."

Contractor:  "Well, you have two options.  You can purchase a new, larger
living room; or you can use a Stacker."

Bill:  "Stacker?"

Contractor:  "Yeah, it allows you to fit twice as much furniture into the
room.  By stacking it, of course, you put the entertainment center on the
couch... the chairs on the table... etc.  You leave an empty spot, so when
you want to use some furniture you can unstack what you need and then put
it back when you're done."

Bill:  "Uh... I dunno... issue two.  The second issue is the light
fixtures.  The bulbs we brought with us from our old home won't fit.  The
threads run the wrong way."

Contractor:  "Oh!  Thats easy.  Those bulbs aren't plug and play.  You'll
have to upgrade to the new bulbs."

Bill:  "And the electrical outlets?  The holes are round, not rectangular.
How do I fix that?"

Contractor:  "Just uninstall and reinstall the electrical system."

Bill:  "You're kidding!?"

Contractor:  "Nope.  It's the only way."

Bill:  " Well... I have one last problem.  Sometimes, when I have
guests over, someone will flush the toilet and it won't stop.  The water
pressure drops so low that the showers don't work."

Contractor:  "That's a resource leakage problem.  One fixture is failing
to terminate and is hogging the resources preventing access from other
fixtures."

Bill:  "And how do I fix that?"

Contractor:  "Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the house, turn
off the water at the street, turn it back on, reenter the house and then
you can get back to work."

Bill:  "That's the last straw.  What kind of product are you selling me?"

Contractor:  "Hey, if you don't like it... nobody made you buy it."

Bill:  "And when will this be fixed?"

Contractor:  "Oh, in your next house, which will be ready to release
sometime near the end of next year.  Actually it was due out this year,
but we've had some delays..."