FileTitle: Prose249.html
Category: Humor
Type: Prose
Description: Telephone Revenge
                       Phone Won't Stop Ringing?
                         Here's What You Do

    Leola Starling of Ribrock, Tenn., had a serious telephone problem.
 But unlike most people she did something about it.

    The brand-new $10 million Ribrock Plaza Motel opened nearby and had
 acquired almost the same telephone number as Leola.

    From the moment the motel opened, Leola was besieged by calls not for
 her.  Since she had the same phone number for years, she felt that she had
 a case to persuade the motel management to change its number.

    Naturally, the management refused claiming that it could not change its
 stationery.

    The phone company was not helpful, either.  A number was a number, and
 just because a customer was getting someone else's calls 24 hours a day
 didn't make it responsible.  After her pleas fell on deaf ears, Leola
 decided to take matters into her own hands.

    At 9 o'clock the phone rang.  Someone from Memphis was calling the motel
 and asked for a room for the following Tuesday. Leoloa said, "No problem.
 How many nights?"

    A few hours later Dallas checked in.  A secretary wanted a suite with
 two bedrooms for a week.  Emboldened, Leola said the Presidential Suite on
the 10th floor was available for $600 a night.  The secretary said that she
would take it and asked if the hotel wanted a deposit.  "No, that won't be
 necessary," Leola said.  "We trust you."

    The next day was a busy one for Leola.  In the morning, she booked an
 electric appliance manufacturers' convention for Memorial Day weekend, a
 college prom and a reunion of the 82nd Airborne veterans from World War II.

       She turned on her answering machine during lunchtime so that she
 could watch the O.J. Simpson trial, but her biggest challenge came in the
 afternoon when a mother called to book the ballroom for her daughter's
 wedding in June.

    Leola assured the woman that it would be no problem and asked if she
 would be providing the flowers or did she want the hotel to take care of
 it.  The mother said that she would prefer the hotel to handle the floral
 arrangements.  Then the question of valet parking came up.  Once again Leola
 was helpful. "There's no charge for valet parking, but we always recommend
 that the client tips the drivers."

    Within a few months, the Ribrock Plaza Motel was a disaster area.

    People kept showing up for weddings, bar mitzvahs, and Sweet Sixteen
 parties and were all told there were no such events.

    Leola had her final revenge when she read in the local paper that the
 motel might go bankrupt.  Her phone rang, and an executive from Marriott
 said, "We're prepared to offer you $200,000 for the motel."

    Leola replied. "We'll take it, but only if you change the telephone
 number."