FileTitle: Prose277.html
Category: Humor
Type: Prose
Description: A Minnesota Winter
                             A Minnesota Winter
 August 12:  Moved to our new home in Minnesota.  Beautiful here.  The
         northern woods are so majestic.  Can hardly wait for snow.  I
         love it here.
 October 14:  Minnesota is the most beautiful place on earth.  The leaves
         have turned colors-shades of red and orange.  Went for a ride
         through the country and saw some deer.  They are so
         graceful...certainly they are the most beautiful animals on
         earth. I really love it here.
 November 11:  Deer season will start soon.  I can't imagine anyone
         wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature.  Hope it will snow
         soon.  What a beautiful place.
 December 12:  Snowed last night.  Woke up to find everything blanketed
         with white.  It looks like a postcard!  We went outside and
         cleared the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway.  We had
         a snow ball fight (I won), and when the snow plow came by we got
         to shovel the driveway again.  What a beautiful place.  I love
 December 14:  More snow last night.  I love it.  The snow plow did his
         trick to the driveway again.  It's so great here.
 December 19:  More snow last night.  Couldn't get out of the driveway to
         get to work.  I am exhausted from shoveling.  F*!-+?% snow plow.
 December 22:  More of that white shit fell last night.  I have blisters
         on my hands from shoveling.  I think the snow plow hides around
         curves and waits until I'm done shoveling the driveway.  Asshole.
 December 25:  Merry F*!-+?% Christmas!  More f*!-+?% snow.  If  I ever
         get my hands on the son-of-a-bitch who drives that snow plow, I
         swear I'll kill the bastard.  Don't know why they don't use more
         salt on the roads to melt the f*!-+?% ice.
 December 27:  More white shit fell last night.  Been inside for three
         days--except for shoveling the driveway after that snow plow goes
         through.  Can't go anywhere--the car's stuck in a mountain of
         white shit.  The weatherman says to expect 19" of the shit again
         tonight.  Do you know how many shovels of snow 19" is?
 December 28:  The f*!-+?% weatherman was wrong.  We got 34" of that white
         shit this time.  At this rate, it won't melt before next summer.
         The snow plow got stuck up the road and that bastard came to the
         door and asked to borrow my shovel.  After I told him I had
         broken six shovels already shoveling all the shit he pushed into
         the driveway, I broke my last shovel over his f*!-+?% head.
 January 4:  Finally got out of the house today.  Went to the store to get
         food and on the way back a damned deer ran in front of my car and
         I hit it.  Did $3000 damage to the car.  Those f*!-+?% beasts
         should be killed.  Wish the hunters would have killed them all
         last November.
 May 3:  Took the car to the garage in town.  Would you believe the thing
         is rusting out from all that f*!-+?% salt they put all over the
 May 10: Moved to Georgia.  I can't imagine why anyone in their right
         mind would ever live in that god-forsaken state of  Minnesota!!!