FileTitle: Prose277.html
Category: Humor
Type: Prose
Description: A Minnesota Winter
A Minnesota Winter
August 12: Moved to our new home in Minnesota. Beautiful here. The
northern woods are so majestic. Can hardly wait for snow. I
love it here.
October 14: Minnesota is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves
have turned colors-shades of red and orange. Went for a ride
through the country and saw some deer. They are so
graceful...certainly they are the most beautiful animals on
earth. I really love it here.
November 11: Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone
wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow
soon. What a beautiful place.
December 12: Snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed
with white. It looks like a postcard! We went outside and
cleared the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had
a snow ball fight (I won), and when the snow plow came by we got
to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love
Minnesota.
December 14: More snow last night. I love it. The snow plow did his
trick to the driveway again. It's so great here.
December 19: More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to
get to work. I am exhausted from shoveling. F*!-+?% snow plow.
December 22: More of that white shit fell last night. I have blisters
on my hands from shoveling. I think the snow plow hides around
curves and waits until I'm done shoveling the driveway. Asshole.
December 25: Merry F*!-+?% Christmas! More f*!-+?% snow. If I ever
get my hands on the son-of-a-bitch who drives that snow plow, I
swear I'll kill the bastard. Don't know why they don't use more
salt on the roads to melt the f*!-+?% ice.
December 27: More white shit fell last night. Been inside for three
days--except for shoveling the driveway after that snow plow goes
through. Can't go anywhere--the car's stuck in a mountain of
white shit. The weatherman says to expect 19" of the shit again
tonight. Do you know how many shovels of snow 19" is?
December 28: The f*!-+?% weatherman was wrong. We got 34" of that white
shit this time. At this rate, it won't melt before next summer.
The snow plow got stuck up the road and that bastard came to the
door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him I had
broken six shovels already shoveling all the shit he pushed into
the driveway, I broke my last shovel over his f*!-+?% head.
January 4: Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get
food and on the way back a damned deer ran in front of my car and
I hit it. Did $3000 damage to the car. Those f*!-+?% beasts
should be killed. Wish the hunters would have killed them all
last November.
May 3: Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing
is rusting out from all that f*!-+?% salt they put all over the
road?
May 10: Moved to Georgia. I can't imagine why anyone in their right
mind would ever live in that god-forsaken state of Minnesota!!!