FileTitle: Prose348.html
Category: Humor
Type: Prose
Description: Best Fruitcake Ever
1 Cup Butter
1 Cup Sugar
4 large Eggs
1 Cup Dried Fruit
1 Tsp. Baking Powder
1 Tsp. Baking Soda
1 Tsp. Salt
Lemon Juice
1 Cup Brown Sugar
1 or 2 quarts Whiskey

Before you start, sample the whiskey to check for quality.  Good, isn't
it?  Now go ahead.

Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc.  Check the whiskey
again as it must be just right.  To be sure whiskey is of highest
quality, pour one level cup into a glass and drink it as fast as you
can.  Repeat.

With an exlectric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large, fluffy
bowl.  Add 1 Tsp. thugar and beat again.  Meanwhile, make sure that the
whickey is of the finest quality.  Cry another tup.  Open second quart if
necessary.  Add 2 arge leggs, 2 cups fried druit and beat till high.
If druit gets stuck in beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.  Sample
the whithkey again, checking for conscisticity.  Then sift 3
cups of salt or anything, it really doesn't matter.

Sample the whickey.  Sift 1/2 pint of lemon juice.  Fold in chopped
butter and strained nuts.  Add 1 bobblespoon of brown thugar, or
whatever color you can find, and mix well.  Grease oven and turn cake
pan to 350x.  Now pour the whole mess into boven and ake.  Cbeck the
whickey again and go to bed.

~Jennifer- professional fruitcake sampler