FileTitle: Prose36.html
Category: Humor
Type: Prose
Description: Answering Machine
"Hello, you have reached the automated operator for County Mental Health.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1, repeatedly.  If you are
codependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.  If you have multiple
personality disorder, press 3,4,5,& 6.  If you are schizophrenic, listen
closely and a little voice will tell you which number to press.  If you
are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.  Stay on the line so
we can trace your call.  If you are suffering from depression, hang up -
it wouldn't have done any good anyway.  Thank you for calling, please
make your selection now.