Conference on World Affairs

Overall Impression: This is the second speaker about abortion I have heard in the last month. I get the impression that too many people have forgotten what it was like, and how strongly some women feel about the choice of an abortion. When I hear about what some women went through, I feel strongly that men cannot be deciding to take that choice away. Here are three stories about abortion.

Woman One

Our first story is in the late 1960s. She was 19, with a healthy libido, but no language for it. There had been no sex education in high school. Her only advice from her mother had been, "Be careful! Once boys get started, they can't stop." With this as our stage she headed off to Woodstock with her boyfriend and a sexy pink nightie in her luggage.

We pick our tale with a pregnant woman. (Sorry, if you were hoping for the juicy details.) There were feelings of fear and dread. (These seem to be the most common feelings for women in this situation.) She decided that the whole world of "baby" was not an option. Once she made the decision, she had tunnel vision about getting the abortion.

Through underground resources she found a bus map for a doctor in Madison. (From Detroit) The doctor had a mean wife that scared her. The doctor turned out to be very nice. The wife had to be strict as a gatekeeper, because what the doctor was doing was illegal. Lying back in the doctors office she saw a ceiling covered with jokes, drawings, and other information about sex. It was her first real sex education. (Many women never get good sex education until they wind up getting an abortion.)

Woman Two

This story starts in the late 70s. The woman leaves school in the spring a scrawny, unpopular little girl. Over the summer she gained four inches and 30 sexy pounds. That fall, back in school, she became popular. The got invited to cool parties, met jocks, and other popular people (who are fat and bald now). This was a bit of a shock to the system.

Being a bit if a fascist, she and her friends had set up a geek buddy system for parties. However at one party she lost her buddy. At the age of 16 she wound up being taken home by a 23 year-old brother of a friend. They did not call it rape then. It involved talking and other coercion. She had never seen a penis and also really wanted someone to kiss her. After it all she felt more grown up. (I do not recall if this was said in a positive or negative tone.)

Our young woman now faced an uncertain future. She lived in a tumultuous household in a poducnk town. It took lots of lies to get herself to Planned Parenthood. They were able to "save a frightened, scared little girl." "Thank God for Planned Parenthood!" [Lots of nodding in the audience.]

Woman Three

We fast forward to 2001. There were two panelists in this panel, but the producer contributed her story to the saga. This was after her horrible freshman year in college. She was working in a summer camp and had a sex fling with a co-worker. They both understood that it was just about sex. She has had sex education in school, starting in the third grade. By fifth grade they were seeing videos. She was on the pill. The lesson she learned the hard way, was that you cannot skip a day with the first three pills in a packet. Their backup contraception failed as well.

It is easier to get an abortion now. However she said she was not feeding this drama story to her family in the South. She had tunnel vision about her abortion once she make her decision. She kept silent for a year about it, until she asked herself, "Why do I think I have to go it alone?" Since then she has been telling her friends so that they know about her story.

QUESTION PERIOD IDEAS

• There was a time when people would throw themselves downstairs trying to trigger a miscarriage.
• All mothers have had sex. Daughters should be able to talk to them.
• There is a big question of what do you tell your kids and when. [Everything, as soon as they ask.]
• The whole cycle matters. Unwanted pregnancy --> Unwanted child --> Criminal justice system --> Emergency room or morgue.
• Several women stood to tell of their mothers who had abortions in the 1930s. We all thought, "Where!" and "How?" We did not get those questions answered.
• I asked if sex info was shared extensively among women. One lady said she did not develop many deep friendships her first year. Women talk about issues a lot, but not so much about sex. Often in the South sex education consisted of "Don't!"

OTHER NOTES

This year I also heard Sarah Weddington talk this year. She was the lawyer who presented the Roe side, in Roe vs. Wade, before the Supreme Court. She had some interesting ideas on the subject as well. The idea still seems to be to share stories so people can truly understand the issue.